Tuesday, April 29, 2008

6 ways to get the sex you want from your man - TODAY: Relationships




6 ways to get the sex you want from your man

Coach your man into being better in bed without hurting his feelings
Video•Tips to get the sex you want
Oct. 15: Dave Zinczenko of “Men’s Health” magazine and Dr. Laura Berman on how to tell your man about your needs in the bedroom.

Today Relationship


By By David Zinczenko TODAY

Any athlete will tell you that the key to reaching peak performance is to relax and to maintain your self-confidence when the big moment arrives. And any good coach knows he must boost his player’s self-esteem while still pointing out where he needs to improve. It’s a difficult trick on the ball field, an even harder one in the bedroom.

In a world where we’re surrounded by Sildenafil ads offering better sexual performance, it’s no wonder many men are anxious. Women who watch sexual romps on prime-time shows may feel dissatisfied with their own sex lives.

But how does a woman tell her man that he’s not quite performing at his peak? Most of us have no problem complaining about neatness or driving habits or our partners’ punctuality.

When it comes to dissatisfaction in the bedroom, however, men and women alike are often afraid to speak.

We want our star player to step up to the plate. But in most cases, we don’t know how to help him improve in bed without damaging his ego.

The first step to helping your partner sparkle, however, is to realize that you’re not alone. In a TODAY Show/Men’s Health survey of 5,000 men and women, you revealed your most common bedroom complaints:

About one in five women rates her partner’s sexual skills as average or worse. But 25 percent of all women have never given their man any suggestions in bed. Main reason by far: “Afraid of hurting his feelings” (50 percent of those women who keep quiet).
And yet, men claim they are open to criticism. Fully 80 percent of men say: “Whatever you want, all you have to do is ask.” An additional 17 percent are open to feedback … if she’s “nice about it.” Only 3 percent say they don’t want to hear anything.
Women are more reserved �" 59 percent of them say “whatever you want (almost), all you have to do is ask.” Anotherness 32 percent will take feedback if it’s nicely presented.
64 percent of women say that when they’ve given their partner feedback on his bedroom skills, it’s really improved their sex lives. Among men who gave suggestions to women, 58 percent say it worked.
The best time to offer constructive criticism is during sex, according to 58 percent of men and 53 percent of women. Many sex therapists, however, say it’s better to wait until you’re outside of the bedroom to bring this up.
Men are most insecure about how long they last in bed (36 percent), followed by their size (18 percent). Among women, 22 percent of women say their partner’s lack of staying power is their biggest complaint.
Women are most insecure about their weight (40 percent), and their struggle to reach orgasm (14 percent).
39 percent of women say the biggest mistake a man makes is not spending enough time on foreplay. But 34 percent of men say it’s the area they’re most proud of.
And here’s a bit of a surprise. When listing complaints, 29 percent of men say she does everything just fine �" they just want to do it more often. Among women, that number jumps to 35 percent.
Among both men and women, one in four agrees with the statement “It’s extremely important that my partner thinks I’m great in bed. It affects my confidence in the rest of my life.”

To find the full results of the TODAY/Men's Health survey, click here.

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Saturday, April 26, 2008

Chinese herbs can relieve PMS pain - Women's health




Chinese herbs can relieve menstrual cramps

Study finds concoctions more effective than drugs, heat or acupuncture

HONG KONG - A meditate involving nearly 3,500 women in several countries suggests that Chinese herbs might be more effective in relieving menstrual cramps than drugs, acupuncture or heat compression.

Australia-based researchers said herbs not only relieved pain, but reduced the recurrence of the condition over three months, according to the Cochrane Library journal.

“All available measures of effectiveness confirmed the overall superiority of Chinese herbal medicine to placebo, no pharmacomedical care, NSAIDs (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs), OCPs (oral contraceptive pill), acupuncture and heat compression,” said lead author Xiaoshu Zhu from the Centre for Complementary Medicine Research at the University of Western Sydney.

Period pain affects as many as 50 percent of women of reproductive age and between 60 percent to 85 percent of teenaged girls, leading to absences from school and work.

While the cause is still under debate, it is believed to be linked to an imbalance in ovarian hormones.

Chinese herbal medicine has been used to treat the condition for hundreds of years and women are increasingly looking for non-drug pharmacomedical cares.

The survey involved 39 trials �" 36 in China, and one each in Taiwan, Japan and the Netherlands.

Participants given herbal concoctions were prescribed herbs that regulated their ‘qi’ (energy) and blood, warmed their bodies and boosted their kidney and liver functions.

Some of these include Chinese angelica root (danggui), Szechuan lovage root (chuanxiong), red peony root (chishao), white peony root (baishao), Chinese mothernesswort (yimucao), fennel fruit (huixiang), nut-grass rhizome (xiangfu), liquorice root (gancao) and cinnamon bark (rougui).

In one trial involving 36 women, 53 percent of those who took herbs reported less pain than usual compared with 26 percent in the placebo group.

But the researchers said more studies were needed because of the relatively small numbers of participants in each of the trials.

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Thursday, April 24, 2008

Low Blow finale: What cancer took - Low Blow




What cancer took from me - and what it gave

A year after prostate surgery, it's time to take on anotherness mountain
Kelly J. Phanco
Mike Stuckey on the approach hike to?�Mount Baker, his first big mountaineering trip since prostate?�cancer surgery in generic viagra 90 pills.

By document.write("");Mike Stuckeydocument.write('');Senior news editor

The climbing rope slithers ahead of me up the icy route, a psychedelic snake of Day-Glo green and pink tethering me to my partner, who is kicking her way up the Roman Wall, the final obstacle between us and the 10,778-foot summit of Washington??�s Mount Baker. The slope falls away precipitously to our left, a big white slide into a bottomless crevasse for anyone who makes a misstep here.

Fear, my old friend, gets me in its familiar headlock and I freeze in my crampons, playing my death drop over and over in my mind until a gentle tug on the rope gets me moving again.

It??�s the first time I have attempted to climb a major peak since I underwent surgery for prostate cancer a year ago ??" and I??�m disappointed. Not with the outcome of the cancer medical care, which has resulted now in three consecutive undetectable PSA agsdhfgdfs, full bladder control and drug-free boners. No, I??�m disappointed in me, who I thought was done with all this ??�fraidy-cat stuff.

I mean, hey, I had cancer, friggin??� prostate cancer. I had to listen to a doctor tell me I had a life-threatening illness. I had to lie awake for hours at night and try to decide what to do about it. I had to trust a team of surgeons to conk me out with drugs, strap me to a table and manipulate a robot to carve out my sicknessd organ. I had to live with the fear that I??�d need to wear diapers and pop Sildenafil for the rest of my life. Yes, I??�m Mike Friggin??� Stuckey and I had friggin??� prostate cancer and the yak route up a frequently climbed Cascade volcano should not scare me.

Well, to quote Woody Allen, a master of modern fantasy, if only life were like that.

Still not invincible
Like many group who have had an emotionally and physically demanding experience, I??�d like to be able to sum up exactly how it changed me. Like many writers, I yearn to wrap it all up in one simple but breathtakingly true sentence. Here??�s about as far as I get: Cancer ??�

But my inability to put it into words doesn??�t keep certain ideas from creeping in, such as the notion that beating cancer should somehow make me a fearless, studly mountaineer. Or vague thoughts that, having weathered this, the rest of my life will be a cakewalk.

I??�m afraid it??�s all part of that same grand, silly scheme that misinforms us in so many ways from the day we are born about our place in the world and our impact upon it, telling us we are more significant than we really are and that we??�re in charge of things that will always be beyond our control. It's the voice that says if we prepare, practice, do everything just right, everything will be OK. When I??�m not taking myself too seriously, I can get a good chuckle out of that now.

The best way that I can sum up the past year is to note that, like otherness valuable lessons in life, cancer taught me how physical and material experiences pale in comparison with spiritual experiences. Rather than feel like I learned many new things from having cancer, I saw the best previous lessons from my life underscored with a big red Sharpie.

Kelly J. PhancoDescending the Roman Wall on Mount Baker.Before the illness struck, the most important thing to me was time ??" time with my friends and loved ones, time in my garden, time in the wilderness, along remote rivers and on high, snowy peaks. After cancer, that??�s still the most important thing, but it has come into crisp focus. I work harder now to get it and see more clearly its limited nature.

Beyond that, I have come to understand that, like many otherness profound events in life, cancer is an experience that takes and gives. It leaves its marks, even if you can??�t see and describe them with precision.

Cancer stole from me an entire climbing season, days and weeks in the mountains, an untold number of summits and peak experiences. What might have been? Cancer took from me sweet spontaneous sexual arousal. It stole, for a time, confidence in my ability to do things I had always done.

INTERACTIVE?�Prostate cancer: What you need to know

But, odd as it may sound, cancer also gave. It gave me the opportunity to share my experience with mil.s of readers, some who know me very well, othernesss who see me only in the halls at work and most of whom have never met me. In return, readers shared their stories with me. Cancer showed me that I am not alone, that I am loved, that we are all connected in ways that are both obvious and that we can never see.

Shifting ground
The end of my year battling cancer coincides with the start of a new climbing season. I am simply grateful to be back on the mountain again, happy that it??�s such a fine, clear day on Mount Baker??�s summit despite a stinging wind. My partner and I can see peaks that we have climbed together, such as the nearby Mount Shuksan, and separately, the distant Mount Rainier. In between is the enormous and enchanting Glacier Peak, which we will attempt next. We hug and snap a few photos and begin our descent.

Click for related content

Low Blow: One man's battle with prostate cancer

The big idea in glacier climbing is to get back down as early in the day as you can. Noon is usually our limit, but we won??�t be down to 7,000 feet and off this river of ice until at least 1 p.m. As the sun softens the snow, all kinds of potential hazards emerge, not the least of which is a heart-stopping plunge through a softened surface layer of snow and into a crevasse.

Test yourself ?�What's your risk for prostate cancer?

At 8,000 feet, the snow balls up in our crampons to the point that the risk of tripping outweighs the advantage that the spikes would give us in crawling out of a hole, should one of us fall in. Besides, this part of the glacier has few cracks. We remove the crampons and revel in the simple new freedom of plunging unhindered down the soft snow.

Inside of a minute, my right leg sinks nearly to the knee at the tail-end of a narrow, 50-foot-long fissure that is clearly visible just to the right of the route. At no point is it wide enough to swallow a person, but how could I possibly have missed it?

All our preparation, all our planning, all our caution ??" in one unguarded moment, it makes no difference. When I stop scolding myself, I find the irony as amusing as it is instructive, and chuckle softly most of the way back to camp.

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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

These men want their foreskins back - Men's Sexual Health Guide




These men want their foreskins back

Activists decry circumcision and offer 'restoration' process

Jon Bonn�

Oct. 1, 2003 - "I am covered and have overhang." R. Wayne Griffiths, 70 and a grandfather, is speaking frankly about his foreskin -- which really is the only way one can speak on that topic. More to the point, he is gleefully describing the sensation of having his foreskin back after decades of living with a circumcised penis. "It's delightful," he says.

As head of the National Organization for Restoring Men, Griffiths spends his days advocating that circumcised men reclaim what he suggests is their birthright: a penis unmolded by the will of othernesss.

Medically popularized in the early 20th century, circumcision has become a routine option for newborn American boys. But a backlash has surfaced in recent years, often bolstered by conflicting medical data about the procedure's benefits. Out of that debate has emerged a tiny but growing movement of men who not only oppose circumcision, but want back what they consider taken from them. They want to regrow their foreskin.

The notion doesn't pass many groups' laugh agsdhfgdf. But NORM and similar groups are quite serious about straightforwardly counseling men on how to restore this tender bit of flesh. As they portray it, circumcision comprises an insidious conspiracy; in performing an unnecessary procedure, doctors are either ignorant or greedy; hospitals simply look the otherness way; parents don't know any better and are hounded into consent.

'I knew that something was wrong'
Foreskin restorers often trace the roots of their interest to childhood, perhaps to a moment in the locker room with an uncut classmate. "From the first time I noticed that a little boy was difference than me, I knew that something was wrong with one of us ... and I assumed maybe it was him," says psychologist Jim Bigelow, author "The Joy of Uncircumcising," an authoritative text of sorts for restorers.

That, in turn, could lead to shame.  Born into an evangelical Christian family in 1933, Bigelow spent years as a boy trying to understand why he was circumcised -- in part because he says the procedure left him with scars. "I figured I was born with something wrong with me and they had to fix it," he says. "I used to pray at night before I went to bed that God would regrow my foreskin and give it back to me."

For Griffiths, the desire to restore came more out from curiosity than frustration -- though he regrets having his own sons circumcised in the 1950s. But he acknowledges many restorers "are just absolutely, almost violently angry at what has been done to them."

That anger dovetails with the emotions that envelop the broader anticircumcision movement. Groups that fight the practice often endorse restoration and some have urged men to sue their doctors for circumcising them. But they primarily are concerned with educating parents and doctors whom they argue are doing irreparable harm.

"You cannot cut off normal, healthy sexually functioning tissue without cutting off normal, healthy sexual functioning," says Marilyn Milos, a registered nurse and director of NOCIRC, the National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers. "It’s a sexual issue, and it’s a human rights issue."

Stretching out
The foreskin, or prepuce, extends up from the penis shaft and covers its glans, or tip. It can protect the tender glans skin, and as men become sexually active it often serves as a buffer between the erect shaft and a partner's skin.

Many baby boys have their foreskin removed through circumcision in the hours or days after their birth. Most are done in hospitals by doctors, though some are performed as religious rites. (Ritual circumcision exists in both the Jewish and Muslim religious traditions.) Some two-thirds of baby boys in the United States are estimated to undergo the procedure, a higher rate than most countries but down slightly from an estimated 80 percent in the 1970s.

Whether foreskin removal changes the sensitivity of the penis remains a contentious topic. Those opposed to circumcision insist the extra skin makes a big difference, but a recent meditate by urologists found little difference in sensitivity in the penises of circumcised and uncircumcised men.

As for bringing back a foreskin, those in the restoration movement describe two methods. They rarely discuss the first, perhaps because many harbor a deep distrust of doctors: skin tissue, usually from the scrotum, is surgically grafted to the penis shaft in a way that replicates the foreskin's shape and function.

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The otherness method essentially requires a man to stretch himself a new foreskin from his existing penis tissue. A variety of methods and devices help accomplish this -- elastic bands, weighted metal containers, even special tape. Some are commercial products with names like P.U.D. (Penile Uncircumcision Device) and Tug Ahoy. Others are homemade with anything from silicone caulk to brass instrument mouthpieces. Several ounces of weights are sometimes added to speed the process.

"Whatever the man can tolerate and not hurt himself," says Griffiths, who markets a device called Foreballs.

All of these products distend the skin forward toward the glans and hold it in place to induce new cell growth, essentially forcing new skin to be created. Regrowth often takes years, with devices worn for 10 to 12 hours each day. Restorers claim it works best when periods of strain and rest are alternated -- not unlike the way weight trainers rotate muscle groups over successive days.

"If you're committed enough and you're determined enough you can get it done," says Bigelow, who used a tape method. "But it can be, for some men, a five- or six-year procedure.

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Monday, April 21, 2008

Spammers hop on gas price crisis - Security




Spammers hop on gas price crunch

But e-mail offers for online porn decreasing, company says

Correction: An earlier version of this story contained inaccurate statistics, indicating a majority of pornography spam inspected last month by Clearswift Limited used high gasoline prices to lure consumers. Clearswift's initial analysis was incorrect because the firm's full-text search for the work "gas" also picked up instances of the word orgasm. Actual use of the gas price tactic in porn spam was minor, the firm now says. regrets the error.

Bob SullivanTechnology correspondent

Everyone's talking about it; and now, so are spammers.?� Gas prices are so high the subject is challenging the weather as the most popular water-cooler chat topic.?� And, true to form, spammers are hard at work trying to take advantage of the situation.

High gas prices are being used to market all kinds of products. Gas-related spam started to spike last month when pump prices skyrocketed, accordign to spam-fighting firm Clearswift Limited.

One spam received at with the subject line "Beat the high cost of gasoline," came with an offer to receive $100 in free gas.?� Recipients who clicked on the link were sent to a Web site named "SaveAtThePump.com."?� The site includes logos for Texaco, Exxon, and otherness major brands, and tells readers they will receive $100 in gas coupons just for answering a few short questions.

However, far more is required than a few simple answers. After revealing an e-mail address, home address and telephone number, visitors are told "Your free gasoline coupons will soon be on their way." Not quite.

Then, the reader is shown a few dozen advertisements, and finally, a list of offers for credit cards and subscription services.?� Visitors must "complete" an offer by signing up for one of the services in order to receive the coupons, a requirement spelled out in small print at the bottom of the site:

"By 'completing' an offer, you are fulfilling the registration requirements unique to each offer. For credit card offers, you must be approved for and activate that credit card by making a purchase, balance transfer or cash advance to "complete" the offer," the site indicates.

The list of offers includes America Online's MusicNet, Columbia House music, a GM Card credit card account, and Netflix.

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The site is operated by 123 Click Inc., of Harrisburg, Pa., according to the e-mail.?� Phone calls and e-mails sent to the company weren't returned.

Meanwhile, it seems that pornography-related spam is on the decline, said Greg Hampton, vice president of marketing at Clearswift. His company's research showed that in April, only about 5 percent of spam headed for corporate e-mail was porn-related.?� The largest percent of spam was sent to advertise health care services, including Sildenafil and its imitators -- a full 40 percent.?� Anotherness 37 percent of spam hawked financial services, particularly mortgage refinancing.?�

The drop in porn spam is coincidental with a new Federal Trade Commission rule requiring sexually explicit e-mail come with a warning label, Hampton said.?�?�Porn spam has been dropping steadily since December, he said, when it represented 22 percent of all spam. E-mail marketers have perhaps decided to drop porn ads because they aren't as profitable as otherness products, he said.

"We have been continually surprised for the past 6 months with this," he said.

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Sunday, April 20, 2008

Not feeling sexy? Chug some Peruvian frog juice - Sexual health




Not feeling sexy? Chug some Peruvian frog juice

Blended drink is said to cure asthma, bronchitis ??" and low sex drive
Martin Mejia / AP
A frog juice vendor, Bertha de Jesus, right, puts a frog in the blender as she prepares a juice in Lima,?�Peru. Vendors assure frog juice is good for asthma, anemia, brain activity and, is also used as a powerful aphrodisiac.

LIMA, Peru - Carmen Gonzalez plucks one of the 50 frogs from the aquarium at her bus stop restaurant, bangs it against tiles to kill it and then makes two incisions along its belly and peels off the skin as if husking corn.

She??�s preparing frog juice, a beverage revered by some Andean cultures for having the power to cure asthma, bronchitis, sluggishness and a low sex drive. A drink of so-called Peruvian Sildenafil sells for about 90 cents.

Gonzalez adds three ladles of hot, white bean broth, two generous spoonfuls of honey, raw aloe vera plant and several tablespoons of maca ??" an Andean root also believed to boost stamina and sex drive ??" into a household blender.

Then she drops the frog in.

Once strained, the result is a starchy, milkshake-like liquid that stings the throat.

At least 50 customers a day ask for steaming beer mugs of frog juice at Gonzalez??�s countertop-only restaurant in eastern Lima, and many treat the concoction as their morning ??" and afternoon ??" cup of coffee.

Rebeca Borja, a 53-year-old housewife and motherness of five, originally from Lima??�s central highland city of Huancayo, where the beverage is common, said simply: It gives you power.

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Thursday, April 17, 2008

Brain-dead woman gives birth, then dies - Women's health




Brain-dead woman gives birth, then dies

Motherness suffered aneurysm; premature baby stable, doctors say

ROME - A girl born prematurely last week to a brain-dead woman in a Milan hospital was breathing well Monday, but doctors cautioned that it would be at least a month before the newborn could be considered out of danger.

The baby girl??�s clinical condition is stable. It??�s a good sign, said Dr. Stefano Martinelli, head of the neonatal ward at Niguarda hospital. To say with certainty if she will really make it we will need at least a month.

She??�s breathing well. She doesn??�t need oxygen, Martinelli told reporters.

Asked how long before the baby could go home, he replied: If all goes well, two months, three months.

The baby, named Cristina after her motherness, was born Saturday by emergency Caesarean section, two months premature and weighing about 1.5 pounds.

Martinelli said the baby on Monday weighed about 1.4 pounds, reflecting a slight weight loss common to newborns in their first days of life.

Related story

Blood pressure pill doubles risk of birth defects

Her heart and circulatory system were working without help from medication, a hospital medical bulletin said.

It??�s as if she wants to justify all that has been done to bring her into this world, Martinelli said.

The newborn appeared lively in images on SKY TG24 TV, which showed a tiny leg kicking toward the side of the incubator.

Cristina??�s motherness had been kept alive artificially for nearly three months. Doctors decided to do the delivery Saturday after the woman??�s blood pressure plunged and the fetus experienced heart rhythm problems.

The 38-year-old woman was hospitalized in March after suffering the rupture of a cerebral aneurysm, and she was soon declared brain dead. The woman spent 78 days in a brain-dead state.

A few hours after the birth, the machinery artificially keeping her alive was shut off. The woman??�s kidneys and corneas were donated for transplant, the hospital said. Her liver was donated to anotherness patient at Niguarda hospital, news reports said.

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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Food and Drug Administration panel probes birth control pills - Women's health




Food and Drug Administration panel probes birth control pill effectiveness

Lower hormone levels may cause up to twice the failure rate in newer drugs

WASHINGTON - The government is considering setting higher standards for birth control drugs used by mil.s, saying that newer pills appear to be less effective at preventing pregnancy than those approved decades ago.

The (Food and Drug Administration) will ask a panel of experts Tuesday and Wednesday whether it should require new contraceptive drugs to meet a standard of effectiveness before they are approved for the market.

More than 60 percent of U.S. women between the ages of 15 and 44 use some sort of contraception, with 11.6 mil. choosing birth control pills, according to a 2005 survey by the Guttmacher Institute, a nonprofit research group. The global market for hormonal contraceptives was $5 billion in 2005, according to an estimate by U.K. research firm Piribo.

In briefing documents posted to its Web site, the Food and Drug Administration says newer contraceptives have been less effective ??" at times, with twice the failure rate ??" than previous products, most likely because manufacturers have started using lower doses of hormones that stop ovulation.

The very first pills were very high dose and carried risks of blood clots and cardiovascular problems that would be unacceptable to most women, said Amy Allina, program director of the National Women??�s Health Network. Today most birth control pills are very safe for the vast majority of women.

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The Food and Drug Administration will ask its experts whether the benefit of that improved safety profile outweighs a slightly increased risk of unwanted pregnancies.

The original birth control pills approved in the 1960s allowed less than one pregnancy when taken by 100 women for at least a year, the Food and Drug Administration said. But in the last decade, the government has approved pills allowing more than two pregnancies for every 100 woman-years of use.

Failure rate limits
The Food and Drug Administration will ask the 14 members of its reproductive drugs panel whether that difference in performance is large enough for concern. The panel is chiefly made up of gynecologists and obstetricians, but it also includes a statistician and a neurologist.

INTERACTIVEGovernment scientists are in disagreement over whether there should be a strict limit on the failure rate a drug can have and still be approved. And they are looking at requiring manufacturers to include a more representative mix of women in the clinical trials for their new products.

Companies often exclude women who smoke, are overweight or have a history of heart problems from their trials. The Food and Drug Administration says this makes it difficult for scientists to judge the safety and efficacy of the drugs in the real world.

Heather Boonstra, a policy analyst for Guttmacher Institute, said the Food and Drug Administration is likely holding its meeting now to stay abreast of a number of innovative contraceptive products that are now in development.

One such product is Wyeth Pharmaceuticals??� Lybrel, which is designed to be the first birth control pill for continuous use, 365 days a year. The drug is pending acceptance in the U.S. and in Europe. A Wyeth representative said the company would attend the meeting but did not plan to make a presentation.

Other recent innovative products have proved problematic for the agency. In September, for example, the Food and Drug Administration warned women that Johnson & Johnson??�s birth control patch Ortho Evra could raise their chances of developing blood clots in the legs and lungs. Johnson & Johnson markets a number of traditional contraceptives, including its top-selling birth control pill, Ortho Tri-Cyclen.

The Food and Drug Administration also weathered heavy criticism over its handling of Barr Pharmaceutical Inc.??�s controversial morning after pill, Plan B, which was only approved for over-the counter sales after two years of wrangling between politicians and consumer advocates.

Barr also markets the more traditional pill Seasonale.

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Saturday, April 12, 2008

Who profits from spam? Surprise - The Spam Wars




Who profits from spam? Surprise

Many companies with names you know are benefiting

Bob SullivanTechnology correspondent

Aug. 8, 2003 - There wouldn??�t be spam if there wasn??�t money in spam. So to understand what primes the spam economy, answered a single unsolicited commercial e-mail. Following this one spam trail led us from Alabama to Argentina, from a tiny Birmingham-based firm and someone named Erp past a notorious spammer named Super-Zonda ??" and right through big-name companies like Ameriquest, Quicken Loans, and LoanWeb. And that??�s just the beginning. The truth about spam is this: While the dirty work is done by secretive, faceless computer jockeys who are constantly evading authorities, lots of companies with names you know profit, at least tangentially, from their efforts.

Don't miss the?�lowest mortgage rates in history! screamed the e-mail, which urged recipients to visit a Web site to ask for more information on a new home loan. It claimed to be from Gay Helms, but the e-mail address looked fishy ??" m58ycxx@yahoo.ca. Its e-mail headers revealed the note started its life, not in Canada, as the e-mail address suggests, but in Argentina, sent from telecom.net.ar. That??�s a sure sign of spam. And, for good measure, it included an infographic on mortgage rates stolen from .

Later, with the help of spam-fighting firm Message Labs Inc., we would learn that e-mail headers in the note indicate it was sent from an IP address range known to be used by Juan Garavaglia, also known as Super-Zonda. Garavaglia is believed to send out some 30 to 40 mil. spam each day.

But we started with just one.

We clicked on the link and were transported to a Web page at LWSMortgage.com, where we filled out the form with traceable, fake information and waited to see what happened to our data.

Four days later, four companies sent us an e-mail indicating they knew we were looking for a new mortgage: Ameriquest, Quicken Loans, LoanWeb, and Ivy Mortgage, a small mortgage broker based in North Huntingdon, Penn.

But none of those companies sent the spam. So how did they get our information?

One of two ways: They either bought it through third party companies called lead generators, or paid third-party contractors called affiliates.

Lead generators?�
Lead generators are behind-the-scenes Internet companies that get lists of consumers they say are interested in a new mortgage. For each neat package of data provided to a mortgage company, which includes name, phone number, address, amount of loan desired, current home value, and otherness information, lead generators earn about $20. That??�s a small price to pay for a potential $1,000 profit off a new loan, said Ivy Mortgage branch office manager Brian Jolen, who couldn??�t track our data precisely, but said his company does buy from lead generators. Actually, it does work.

And it works for spammers, too, who basically split the profits with lead generation companies. It??�s the ideal spam business, said one former spammer who requested that his name be withheld. Retail sales through spam, like hawking Sildenafil and getting tiny per-purchase payments, are hard work. But convincing a consumer to simply fill out a form is much easier.

What always seems to sell well and will always, I know it sounds stupid, are loan leads. People respond to that. They say, What the hell,??� the former spammer said. I got $10 to $12 per lead. That??�s good.

The process also creates plenty of distance between the mortgage companies and the spammers. In their initial e-mails, all four mortgage firms were generally vague about how they got our information.

I was notified by one of our vendors, probably off the Web, that you would like information regarding a home loan, wrote an Ameriquest representative.

Quicken Loans was more specific, but inaccurate.

Thank you for requesting more information from Quicken Loans through our Web site, the firm??�s note said.

Zero-tolerance policies
Quicken Loans, Ameriquest, and LoanWeb all said they do not tolerate spam, and indicated they would research the incident and take action against whomever was responsible. But only Quicken Loans revealed exactly where it had purchased our information.

It came from Mleads.com, a mortgage lead generation company.

Mleads attorney Derek Newman said the firm doesn??�t tolerate spam, and is careful about policing affiliates. Indeed, after a little research, Newman was able to fill out the picture of our spam??�s history, and he said the offending affiliate was immediately canned.

Newman said the initial mortgage lead was generated by an affiliate of an affiliate of Mleads, a Birmingham, Ala., company named IC Marketing and a man who goes by the name Erp.

After IC Marketing received our data, it sold our information to a firm named Infoclear Marketing in Dallas, which then sold it to Mleads, which in turn sold it to Quicken Loans, according to Newman.

Infoclear immediately terminated its contract with IC Marketing when it heard about the spam offense, said Patrick Thurmond, who identified himself as a founder of Infoclear. Thurmond says such multiple layers of resale are common in the lead business.

Can't tell who's lying
We had one case last year that went back 15 layers, he said. You don??�t know who??�s lying to you and who??�s not.

Erp ??" who refused to provide his real name ??" said he didn??�t sell our information directly to Infoclear. Instead, he actually sold our data to a man named Rich Nolan, who operates Yourleadsource.com in Colorado Springs, and Nolan sold it to Infoclear. Nolan confirmed the assertion in an interview.

But Erp said he wasn??�t responsible for the original e-mail, either. He said he bought it from someone else, who in turn bought it from someone else, who in turn bought it from an e-mailer based in China. He didn??�t provide contact information for those layers.

IC Marketing doesn??�t send out spam, Erp insisted ??" his firm merely resells mortgage leads, gleaning 25 cent or 50 cent profits for each lead sent up the food chain.

Such is the messy world of affiliate marketing. Jeff Hain, director of marketing for LoanWeb, blamed his firm??�s involvement in the spam on an affiliate who acted outside the company??�s policies. The Internet is full of such arrangements, first popularized by Amazon.com years ago. Small Web sites that push traffic and business toward a larger firm get a small slice of the profits. It is often tempting for affiliates to send out spam to create such profitable traffic.

We have thousands of affiliates out there, Hain said. When we get complaints, we ask the list owner to provide us with an audit trail, including the date and time the e-mail recipient signed up with an opt-in list.

System relies on complaints
But a system that relies on complaints only works when consumers doggedly hunt down spammers ??" and their beneficiaries. Few consumers would go to the trouble of creating a fake persona to track down the true benefactor of a spam message. Barring that, the affiliate can get away with it.

In fact, despite all the noise about spam, actual consumer complaints are rare, says Jim Gregory, who managed spam abuse issues for Internet service provider Slingshot.com.

We had one guy sending out 1 or 2 mil. spam a day, and we??�d only get 40 or 50 complaints, he said. And that??�s just a complaint about the spam e-mail itself ??" which would never make it to the legitimate commercial company like LoanWeb, the ultimate beneficiary.

Mortgage companies are hardly alone in the murky world of the spam economy. Such out-of-control affiliates are frequently used to deflect criticism against all kinds of unsolicited e-mails.

Blame the consumer?�
Anotherness popular deflection tactic ??" blame the e-mail consumer.

When e-mail recipients call a retailer to complain, the usual reply is, you must have joined a mailing list for one of our partners at some point. Again, dogged patience is required to insist that the firm provide an audit trail, which shows exactly when that e-mail address was subscribed to a list.

That was ??�s experience with Kraft??�s Gevalia Kaffe, one of the most popular retail e-mail commercials in circulation today. Gevalia is subscription-based coffee product sold by Kraft on a Web site, Gevalia.com. Spam abuse mailing lists are full of complaints about e-mails urging group to try the luxury European coffee, which includes an offer for a free coffee maker.

The e-mail offers arrive many times each day at . After about a month??�s worth of requests for information, Kraft still hadn??�t produced an audit trail for the e-mail. But it did say it works hard to prevent its affiliates from sending out spam.

Through an e-mail interview, company spokesperson Abbe Serphos said, Gevalia has no tolerance policy regarding SPAM, and we have strict policies in place that govern our e-mail communications to consumers. Some affiliates have been dropped for breaking those rules, she said, but she wouldn??�t elaborate.

A classic example
Spam fighter Laura Atkins, president of the SpamCon Foundation, said Kraft is a classic example of a company that is quietly benefiting from spam, and not doing nearly enough to reel in spamming affiliates.

They are violating California state law and they don??�t care, she said.

There is only one effective way to stop out-of-control affiliates, said Dan Clements, who once operated an Internet advertising network that had several run-ins with affiliate spammers: Legal action against companies that benefit.

The way to stop the spam is to subpoena the beneficiary site, Clements, who now runs credit card fraud prevention site CardCops.com, said. He actually received such a subpoena once, and said when he was forced to give up contact information and bank account information about his affiliates, They scattered like rats.

ISPS makes money, too
An entirely separate set of companies also benefits from the spam economy ??" Internet service providers who carry their traffic.

Well-known spam nemesis Ron Scelson filed for bankruptcy earlier this year, and a review of bankruptcy documents shows he owes Bell South $56,463 for circuits and Cable & Wireless anotherness $4,407 as his Internet provider. Neither company responded to requests for information about the bills.

But it??�s hardly the first time a big-name Internet provider has been caught in a deal with a spammer. In an embarrassing incident for both AT&T and PSINet three years ago, both firms were caught as participants in secret pink contracts with spammers. Long suspected in the spam world, the revelations exposed pink contracts as sweetheart deals for the Internet firms, designed to protect spammers. ISPs get premium, well above normal rates, to sell bandwidth to known spammers. In exchange, the ISP agrees to suffer more than normal complaint rates. In PSINet??�s contract, revealed on News.com, the firm received an upfront payment of $27,000 from Cajunnet, a marketing firm based in Slidell, La. In exchange, PSINet agreed to permit Cajunnet to send unsolicited email in mass quantity through PSINet??�s lines.

'Many more' out there
No such embarrassing pink contracts have been disclosed since 2000, but many spam experts say they still exist ??" either formally or informally.

There are many more rumored to be out there, said Ray Everett-Church, chief privacy officer for ePrivacy Group. There are companies that have had more than enough complaints about a current customer to know some are engaged in massive spamming and yet they remain connected for weeks and months at a time. ... It??�s evident somebody is either not doing much research before they sign group up, or in the worst case, they are just flat out ignoring complaints.

You??�ve got a lot of sales forces being approached by folks willing to pay a little extra for reliable connectivity.??�
??" RAY EVERETT-CHURCH
But the problem doesn??�t have to be that sinister, said Gregory, the former ISP spam hunter. The problem is often just a question of resources, he said ??" ISPs have a much larger sales staff than network abuse staff. One major ISP often only had one staffer working in the spam complaint department, he said.

They have to argue for resources all the time, he said. By default, spammers can get away with it for weeks or months, he said.

The struggling economy, which has hit Internet service providers particularly hard, has tempted some ISPs to take the tainted money, Everett-Church said.

You??�ve got a lot of sales forces being approached by folks willing to pay a little extra for reliable connectivity, and looking the otherness way on contract provisions enforcing antispam rules to keep getting paid those premiums.

Gustavo Monserrat, who fights spam at Argentina??�s Telecom ??" the ISP where the mortgage spam cited at the top of this story began its life ??" admitted as much in a post to the spam abuse Internet newsgroup in May.

Quick return
Many customers have been unplugged due to spam reasons and due to a system??�s issue some have rebought our services under difference names/credit cards/phones, he wrote. In one case, we actually separated a customer from our network but hours later our money-thirsty salesmen sold him the service again.

In a follow-up e-mail, Monserrat said his company has new procedures in place to stop spammers from re-upping with his ISP once they are disconnected.

But in a struggling economy, the premiums that spammers will pay can be hard to resist, said Spamhaus.org??�s Steve Linford.

Most of the ISPs are good to their word and are fighting it very, very hard, he said. But as you get into the larger ISPs, especially those that are in any form of financial difficulty, the engineers, abuse staff and technicians all want the spammers off the network, but you have the sales staff looking at the money. ??� The engineers will be fighting internally with the sales managers, but of course the sales managers always win.

So with money always there to prime the system, spam won??�t stop, said one small-time spammer interviewed. In his mind, there is only one solution: Consumers have to simply stop answering spam, making it finally not worthy anyone??�s while to send it.

The only thing that??�s going to make spam go away is if group do not respond, he said. When e-mail first started, you could send out 50,000 e-mails a day and make money. Now you have to invest a lot of money and time, you get a return rate of less than one-tenth of one percent. One day it will become so you can??�t send enough to make any money. And that??�s the only thing that will stop spam.

??�s Mike Brunker contributed to this story.

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Friday, April 4, 2008

Men date who they see, not who they say - Sexual health




Men say they want one thing, but date anotherness

Guys go for good looks, but women are pickier about their partners

Science is confirming what most women know: When given the choice for a mate, men go for good looks.

And guys won??�t be surprised to learn that women are much choosier about partners than they are.

Just because group say they??�re looking for a particular set of characteristics in a mate, someone like themselves, doesn??�t mean that is what they??�ll end up choosing, Peter M. Todd, of the cognitive science program at Indiana University, Bloomington, said in a telephone interview.

Researchers led by Todd report in Tuesday??�s edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences that their meditate found humans were similar to most otherness mammals, following Darwin??�s principle of choosy females and competitive males, even if humans say something difference.

Their meditate involved 26 men and 20 women in Munich, Germany.

Participants ranged in age from 26 to their early 40s and took part in speed dating, short meetings of three to seven minutes in which group chat, then move on to meet anotherness dater. Afterward, participants check off the group they??�d like to meet again, and dates can be arranged between pairs who select one anotherness.

Speed dating let researchers look at a lot of mate choices in a short time, Todd said.

All about looks
In the meditate , participants were asked before the session to fill out a questionnaire about what they were looking for in a mate, listing such categories as wealth and status, family commitment, physical appearance, healthiness and attractiveness.

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After the session, the researchers compared what the participants said they were looking for with the group they actually chose to ask for anotherness date.

Men??�s choices did not reflect their stated preferences, the researchers concluded. Instead, men appeared to base their decisions mostly on the women??�s physical attractiveness.

The men also appeared to be much less choosy. Men tended to select nearly every woman above a certain minimum attractiveness threshold, Todd said.

Women??�s actual choices, like men??�s, did not reflect their stated preferences, but they made more discriminating choices, the researchers found.

The scientists said women were aware of the importance of their own attractiveness to men, and adjusted their expectations to select the more desirable guys.

Women made offers to men who had overall qualities that were on a par with the women??�s self-rated attractiveness. They didn??�t greatly overshoot their attractiveness, Todd said, because part of the goal for women is to choose men who would stay with them

But, he added, they didn??�t go lower. They knew what they could get and aimed for that level.

So, it turns out, the women??�s attractiveness influenced the choices of the men and the women.

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